1. I love the song, 'I like big butts and I cannot lie, and you other brothers can't deny. When a girl walks in with an itsy bitsy waist and a round thing in your face, you get sprung'! And will sing it anywhere! I once sang this song during a mall activation, in front of about 50 people and won a gift hamper!
2. I am a VERY bad singer.
3. I have walked into the male loo twice in my life. It was NOT pleasant!
4. I LOVE romantic comedies (I've watched every rom com that released during the 80s till present date) and chick literature.
5. My parents wanted to name me 'Anita' to rhyme with my sisters' names; 'Ekta' and 'Amrata'. Thank God, they then realized that I am unique and there was no need to ensure that my name rhyme with my sisters'. Why they then chose one of the most COMMON Indian names for me is still a mystery but I prefer 'Anjali' to 'Anita'-no offence to my prior boss!
6. Tears do not fall out of my eyes! Seriously! When I cry my eyes get moist but I think there is something wrong with my tear duct! I once saw an optometrist who gave me eye drops so tears could fall out of my eyes but that didn't work...
7. I have had a bad hair day every day of my life.
8. I LOVE fiction and cannot read non-fiction.
9. I don't like pets-I can't take care of myself, why would I want to clean an animal's poo?! I love kids but am not too keen on cleaning a kid's poo, either.
10. I didn't find Tom and Jerry funny, as a kid. I thought it was kind of dumb and I always felt bad for Tom. Jerry was such a pain in the a&*. Similarly, I've always liked Veronica more than Betty in Archie comics-because everyone else likes Betty and I always support the unloved characters! This is also why I don't like Jennifer Aniston in Friends-everyone goes on about her being 'America's sweetheart'-whatever! I prefer Monica. Anyday.
11. I am addicted to Grey's anatomy. I think it is the best TV show ever.
12. I liked an Indian model from the 90s' and 2000. He is called Tarun Raghavan, no one knows him and I am his only fan!
13. I am terrible at flirting. In fact, I can't flirt to save my life. Which is why it annoys me when people say 'Geminis are big flirts'. Not frigging true!
14. My sister calls me butterfingers. I always break things, drop things, forget responsibilities; I kind of live in my own world. My world is more fun than the real world.
15. I love laughing but something has to be truly funny to make me laugh. Very few people can make me laugh. I only like those people and think the rest are losers!
16. My father once spotted me talking to myself. I was giving an "interview"- pretending to be at an awards ceremony and talking about my rise to stardom. My father looked highly disappointed and worried and I sometimes spot him staring at me, no doubt, wondering how he gave birth to such an oddball.
17. I LOVE carbs! Pizza, pasta, lasagne-bring it on!
18. I am very untidy. I can't help it. I don't care.
19. I once almost fractured my leg after tripping in the shower. I was dancing in the shower. Good times.
20. I hate Harry Potter, Star Wars, The lord of the rings and other such unbelievable, unrealistic crap.
21. I am running out of stuff to write and am getting frustrated. I usually cry when I am frustrated. This leads to no tears actually coming out. Which leads to my getting even more frustrated. It's a vicious circle.
22. I used to cry before EVERY exam in school and University. Crying is a passion of mine.
23. When I was younger, I thought 'dream sequences' in movies were the real dreams of the lead actors. Similarly, I thought watching a movie in 'black' (buying tickets in black) meant watching the movie in black n white n not color.
24. I love pouting in pictures. I can't help it.
25. I love doing the shocked expression in pictures. I really can't help it.
Free spirit
Travelling; the best thing to do with your time!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Uncontactable 'Contacts'!
It is said that in this world, it's not what you know, it's who you know that matters. I have resisted this ideology for as long as I possibly could but ever since I moved to Mumbai in 2008, I realised that 'contacts' are more valuable than true friends, here.
It's no wonder that school and university are so different from the real world. While you are a student, your results are directly proportional to your effort. There are no other factors that affect your grades (or atleast, there shouldn't be) Teachers are sometimes found to be biased towards certain students but generally, right and wrong answers are pretty distinct and there isn't much of a grey area while grading students.
Real life, on the other hand, works very differently. Nepotism is an accepted concept in almost every industry, today. The Indian film industry, Politics and Businesses have encouraged nepotism for decades, now. While the youth were known to want to stand on their own two feet in the past, more and more young people are relying on their families' contacts to help them achieve their dreams, sooner.
When I returned to Mumbai, after living away for eight years, needless to say, I felt like a lost sheep. To make matters worse, 'well-wishers' frightened me by bringing to light the fact that I hardly had any 'contacts' in Mumbai. When I countered their opinions by saying that I would find a job in my chosen field without the aid of any contacts, I was met with comments such as 'You don't know how it works in Mumbai, beta. You're so naive'
Picturing a future entailing sitting at home for the rest of my life, I began my campaign to round up suitable contacts. I contacted cousins around the world, distant relatives based in Mumbai and friends' of friends. These conversations were always awkward as I generally hate asking for favors. This might have something to do with my pride, inherited from my parents who always encourage self-sufficiency.
Nonetheless, 'marketing' myself to these contacts, helped immensely. A friend of my cousin based in America, ultimately came to the rescue. I got my first job in Mumbai through him and while I actually hated every minute of it, the pay cheque at the end of the month made it worthwhile (not too worthwhile as Indians aren't the best paymasters) and I began my journey in the working world of Mumbai. When recession hit and I lost the afore-mentioned job, I had to restart my networking rounds and this time, I dreaded networking even more. The reason being that I hadn't kept in much contact with the contacts once I got my job and I knew that if I resumed contact with them, they would know that it was because I needed their help again.
My all-knowing sisters would interject whenever I complained to them about how awkward it was to re-establish contact with people by saying that it's common knowledge that you're supposed to maintain contact with everyone you meet. You never know who will come handy in your hour of need. While I would grumpily protest that when one is so busy with work, friends and family, it is difficult keeping in contact with acquaintances, my wise sisters would ask me to just suck it up and deal with it because everyone else managed to do that.
However, if I have learned anything in my twenty two years on this earth, it is that one cannot change one's basic personality. In fact, as we get older, it becomes more unlikely that our personalities will ever change. Being a true Gemini, (extremely friendly one instant, extremely shy the other) I have come to realise that I am just not going to be a social butterfly. I cannot flit about a crowded room, showering fake compliments on everyone present. Actually, if I were to be completley honest, I suppose I could be a social butterfly but not at all times. As I result, I end up striking people as weird. I know no one else is to blame for this as I would also think a person who greets me warmly one day and completely ignores me the next, is strange. In my defence, I really can't control it. If I am in the mood to be a recluse, nothing and no one will be able to bring me out of my hibernation. I blame it on the stars under which I was born.
All said and done, after being in India for nearly two years now, I now have an impressive list of contacts (I owe a lot of this to my prior job in PR)on my two BBs (Blackberry and black book) The only glitch?! I hesistate in contacting about 70% of this list and haven't contacted about 60% of my list for a second time!
I now wonder if I was better off before I knew all these people; at least back then my excuse for being unsociable was not knowing enough people. Now, the reasons I am unsociable are because I am highly lazy and an introvert 50% of the time.
It's no wonder that school and university are so different from the real world. While you are a student, your results are directly proportional to your effort. There are no other factors that affect your grades (or atleast, there shouldn't be) Teachers are sometimes found to be biased towards certain students but generally, right and wrong answers are pretty distinct and there isn't much of a grey area while grading students.
Real life, on the other hand, works very differently. Nepotism is an accepted concept in almost every industry, today. The Indian film industry, Politics and Businesses have encouraged nepotism for decades, now. While the youth were known to want to stand on their own two feet in the past, more and more young people are relying on their families' contacts to help them achieve their dreams, sooner.
When I returned to Mumbai, after living away for eight years, needless to say, I felt like a lost sheep. To make matters worse, 'well-wishers' frightened me by bringing to light the fact that I hardly had any 'contacts' in Mumbai. When I countered their opinions by saying that I would find a job in my chosen field without the aid of any contacts, I was met with comments such as 'You don't know how it works in Mumbai, beta. You're so naive'
Picturing a future entailing sitting at home for the rest of my life, I began my campaign to round up suitable contacts. I contacted cousins around the world, distant relatives based in Mumbai and friends' of friends. These conversations were always awkward as I generally hate asking for favors. This might have something to do with my pride, inherited from my parents who always encourage self-sufficiency.
Nonetheless, 'marketing' myself to these contacts, helped immensely. A friend of my cousin based in America, ultimately came to the rescue. I got my first job in Mumbai through him and while I actually hated every minute of it, the pay cheque at the end of the month made it worthwhile (not too worthwhile as Indians aren't the best paymasters) and I began my journey in the working world of Mumbai. When recession hit and I lost the afore-mentioned job, I had to restart my networking rounds and this time, I dreaded networking even more. The reason being that I hadn't kept in much contact with the contacts once I got my job and I knew that if I resumed contact with them, they would know that it was because I needed their help again.
My all-knowing sisters would interject whenever I complained to them about how awkward it was to re-establish contact with people by saying that it's common knowledge that you're supposed to maintain contact with everyone you meet. You never know who will come handy in your hour of need. While I would grumpily protest that when one is so busy with work, friends and family, it is difficult keeping in contact with acquaintances, my wise sisters would ask me to just suck it up and deal with it because everyone else managed to do that.
However, if I have learned anything in my twenty two years on this earth, it is that one cannot change one's basic personality. In fact, as we get older, it becomes more unlikely that our personalities will ever change. Being a true Gemini, (extremely friendly one instant, extremely shy the other) I have come to realise that I am just not going to be a social butterfly. I cannot flit about a crowded room, showering fake compliments on everyone present. Actually, if I were to be completley honest, I suppose I could be a social butterfly but not at all times. As I result, I end up striking people as weird. I know no one else is to blame for this as I would also think a person who greets me warmly one day and completely ignores me the next, is strange. In my defence, I really can't control it. If I am in the mood to be a recluse, nothing and no one will be able to bring me out of my hibernation. I blame it on the stars under which I was born.
All said and done, after being in India for nearly two years now, I now have an impressive list of contacts (I owe a lot of this to my prior job in PR)on my two BBs (Blackberry and black book) The only glitch?! I hesistate in contacting about 70% of this list and haven't contacted about 60% of my list for a second time!
I now wonder if I was better off before I knew all these people; at least back then my excuse for being unsociable was not knowing enough people. Now, the reasons I am unsociable are because I am highly lazy and an introvert 50% of the time.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Why Women Need To Be Superficial Too
I recently read an article about a 42-year old writer, Lori Gottlieb, who sparked a new age revolution by advising women over 30 to settle down with Mr. Right Now instead of continuing to wait for Mr. Right.
Her reasoning was that there simply aren’t enough good men to go around (For every 100 single women in the 45-65 age group, there are only 75 single men in the same age demographic in the U.S.) Thus, if you’ve found a reasonably decent man, then hold on to him tighter than Fevicol sticks. Note that by a reasonably decent man what she really meant was any male that moves, showers daily, is not completely emotionally retarded and is capable of keeping the toilet seat down (okay, let’s face it, no such man has graced the earth with his presence yet)
Now, being a single woman who hasn’t found my soul mate despite sincerely looking for the last six years, I do understand where Gottlieb was coming from. She herself is a 42- year old single woman who claims to have lost out on several good men because of her selectiveness over the years.
Although the statistics mentioned above pertain to America (The Indian government doesn’t have the time or money, for that matter, to spend on researching single men to women ratios and has more pressing issues like poverty and female infanticide to deal with), these statistics are an indication of the scenario worldwide. I know this because the majority of my female friends around the world are beautiful, intelligent and independent women who are single. The ones who are in relationships are at least twice as smart and attractive as their partners and appear to have settled for less than they deserve.
And this is why my opinion differs from Gottlieb’s. I believe women should not have to settle. We all deserve to be with our ideal men because these men cannot just be figments of our overactive imaginations. They must exist. They’ve not come into our lives yet but that does not meet our paths won’t cross in the future.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not asking women to be delusional. All I’m saying is that as a gender, we’ve come a long way. We’ve created strong identities. We’ve accomplished the impossible. We’ve fought for our rights. We’ve stood up for our beliefs against parents, Governments, relatives and chauvinistic ex boyfriends, amongst others. If we can achieve unbridled success in our careers, why can’t we find our ‘Mc.Dreamy’ (Patrick Dempsey in Grey’s Anatomy-watch it to know what I mean) too?
As much as I hate to admit it, we need to learn a very important lesson from men. Every man I have ever met, no matter how fat, short, stupid, ugly or bald he is, has one enviable quality; high self-esteem. While every woman, no matter how stunning, will think her thighs are too thick, her hair too dull or her eyes too far apart, men believe they are perfect just the way they are. I sometimes wonder if they see their true reflections in mirrors or if they see Bradley Cooper staring back at them. I don’t mean to be mean, I am writing this only because I’ve had way too many experiences of sub standard guys approach me and my gorgeous friends at clubs, truly believing they stand a chance with us. As a result, my friends and I started believing we were sub standard! The fact that only the ugly men, as opposed to the good-looking guys always approached us, meant that we deserved these second class men, right?! Wrong.
All this really proves is that, men never settle! They always aim for women who look better than they do and more often than not, they end up with these women. Why? Because as women get older and nowhere closer to Mr. Right, we start feeling dejected. We start believing that we’re incapable of being loved. When an ugly, Mr. Right Now steps in, we’re more than happy to settle down with him because by then our self confidence has been shattered so much that we feel grateful to be loved, at all.
This happens even more in Indian society where men have the upper hand in choosing their brides. Many Indian men have been known to ‘select’ younger sisters of the prospective brides they’ve met, simply because the younger sisters were fairer or prettier than the girls intended for them (fair and pretty are actually synonyms in the minds of some Indian communities)
Being the more mature sex, we tend to pick our partners due to their personalities as opposed to their looks from a very young age. However, my argument is this; if a guy is ugly, he has to have a good personality-otherwise, no one will like him! Thus, don’t fall for the ‘he doesn’t look great but has a great personality’ justification that most women give themselves and others for their Shrek-like partners! Don’t accept a guy’s arrogance simply because he’s good-looking, either! Women can manage to be pretty, smart, funny, interesting and humble (I am a perfect example of this!) and so men should be expected to possess all these qualities too!
Women have worked on themselves (okay, some of us, like me are naturals but don’t sweat, we can’t all be born great) to get as close to perfection as possible and it’s time men evolved too. Just because we descended from apes, doesn’t mean you have to still behave like that, men! It’s about time you learned something from women. And it’s about time we learned something from men, too. So believe in yourselves, women. The world is your oyster, there are plenty fish in the sea etc. You deserve the best men, out there. And if they refuse to evolve, don’t accept them! In short, be a man, woman! And men, it’s about time you became the whole package; smart, well-groomed, sophisticated, kind, strong, supportive, friendly, talented…it’s not too much to ask for! All you men have to do is become more like us!
Her reasoning was that there simply aren’t enough good men to go around (For every 100 single women in the 45-65 age group, there are only 75 single men in the same age demographic in the U.S.) Thus, if you’ve found a reasonably decent man, then hold on to him tighter than Fevicol sticks. Note that by a reasonably decent man what she really meant was any male that moves, showers daily, is not completely emotionally retarded and is capable of keeping the toilet seat down (okay, let’s face it, no such man has graced the earth with his presence yet)
Now, being a single woman who hasn’t found my soul mate despite sincerely looking for the last six years, I do understand where Gottlieb was coming from. She herself is a 42- year old single woman who claims to have lost out on several good men because of her selectiveness over the years.
Although the statistics mentioned above pertain to America (The Indian government doesn’t have the time or money, for that matter, to spend on researching single men to women ratios and has more pressing issues like poverty and female infanticide to deal with), these statistics are an indication of the scenario worldwide. I know this because the majority of my female friends around the world are beautiful, intelligent and independent women who are single. The ones who are in relationships are at least twice as smart and attractive as their partners and appear to have settled for less than they deserve.
And this is why my opinion differs from Gottlieb’s. I believe women should not have to settle. We all deserve to be with our ideal men because these men cannot just be figments of our overactive imaginations. They must exist. They’ve not come into our lives yet but that does not meet our paths won’t cross in the future.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not asking women to be delusional. All I’m saying is that as a gender, we’ve come a long way. We’ve created strong identities. We’ve accomplished the impossible. We’ve fought for our rights. We’ve stood up for our beliefs against parents, Governments, relatives and chauvinistic ex boyfriends, amongst others. If we can achieve unbridled success in our careers, why can’t we find our ‘Mc.Dreamy’ (Patrick Dempsey in Grey’s Anatomy-watch it to know what I mean) too?
As much as I hate to admit it, we need to learn a very important lesson from men. Every man I have ever met, no matter how fat, short, stupid, ugly or bald he is, has one enviable quality; high self-esteem. While every woman, no matter how stunning, will think her thighs are too thick, her hair too dull or her eyes too far apart, men believe they are perfect just the way they are. I sometimes wonder if they see their true reflections in mirrors or if they see Bradley Cooper staring back at them. I don’t mean to be mean, I am writing this only because I’ve had way too many experiences of sub standard guys approach me and my gorgeous friends at clubs, truly believing they stand a chance with us. As a result, my friends and I started believing we were sub standard! The fact that only the ugly men, as opposed to the good-looking guys always approached us, meant that we deserved these second class men, right?! Wrong.
All this really proves is that, men never settle! They always aim for women who look better than they do and more often than not, they end up with these women. Why? Because as women get older and nowhere closer to Mr. Right, we start feeling dejected. We start believing that we’re incapable of being loved. When an ugly, Mr. Right Now steps in, we’re more than happy to settle down with him because by then our self confidence has been shattered so much that we feel grateful to be loved, at all.
This happens even more in Indian society where men have the upper hand in choosing their brides. Many Indian men have been known to ‘select’ younger sisters of the prospective brides they’ve met, simply because the younger sisters were fairer or prettier than the girls intended for them (fair and pretty are actually synonyms in the minds of some Indian communities)
Being the more mature sex, we tend to pick our partners due to their personalities as opposed to their looks from a very young age. However, my argument is this; if a guy is ugly, he has to have a good personality-otherwise, no one will like him! Thus, don’t fall for the ‘he doesn’t look great but has a great personality’ justification that most women give themselves and others for their Shrek-like partners! Don’t accept a guy’s arrogance simply because he’s good-looking, either! Women can manage to be pretty, smart, funny, interesting and humble (I am a perfect example of this!) and so men should be expected to possess all these qualities too!
Women have worked on themselves (okay, some of us, like me are naturals but don’t sweat, we can’t all be born great) to get as close to perfection as possible and it’s time men evolved too. Just because we descended from apes, doesn’t mean you have to still behave like that, men! It’s about time you learned something from women. And it’s about time we learned something from men, too. So believe in yourselves, women. The world is your oyster, there are plenty fish in the sea etc. You deserve the best men, out there. And if they refuse to evolve, don’t accept them! In short, be a man, woman! And men, it’s about time you became the whole package; smart, well-groomed, sophisticated, kind, strong, supportive, friendly, talented…it’s not too much to ask for! All you men have to do is become more like us!
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