Uncontactable 'Contacts'!

It is said that in this world, it's not what you know, it's who you know that matters. I have resisted this ideology for as long as I possibly could but ever since I moved to Mumbai in 2008, I realised that 'contacts' are more valuable than true friends, here.

It's no wonder that school and university are so different from the real world. While you are a student, your results are directly proportional to your effort. There are no other factors that affect your grades (or atleast, there shouldn't be) Teachers are sometimes found to be biased towards certain students but generally, right and wrong answers are pretty distinct and there isn't much of a grey area while grading students.

Real life, on the other hand, works very differently. Nepotism is an accepted concept in almost every industry, today. The Indian film industry, Politics and Businesses have encouraged nepotism for decades, now. While the youth were known to want to stand on their own two feet in the past, more and more young people are relying on their families' contacts to help them achieve their dreams, sooner.

When I returned to Mumbai, after living away for eight years, needless to say, I felt like a lost sheep. To make matters worse, 'well-wishers' frightened me by bringing to light the fact that I hardly had any 'contacts' in Mumbai. When I countered their opinions by saying that I would find a job in my chosen field without the aid of any contacts, I was met with comments such as 'You don't know how it works in Mumbai, beta. You're so naive'

Picturing a future entailing sitting at home for the rest of my life, I began my campaign to round up suitable contacts. I contacted cousins around the world, distant relatives based in Mumbai and friends' of friends. These conversations were always awkward as I generally hate asking for favors. This might have something to do with my pride, inherited from my parents who always encourage self-sufficiency.

Nonetheless, 'marketing' myself to these contacts, helped immensely. A friend of my cousin based in America, ultimately came to the rescue. I got my first job in Mumbai through him and while I actually hated every minute of it, the pay cheque at the end of the month made it worthwhile (not too worthwhile as Indians aren't the best paymasters) and I began my journey in the working world of Mumbai. When recession hit and I lost the afore-mentioned job, I had to restart my networking rounds and this time, I dreaded networking even more. The reason being that I hadn't kept in much contact with the contacts once I got my job and I knew that if I resumed contact with them, they would know that it was because I needed their help again.

My all-knowing sisters would interject whenever I complained to them about how awkward it was to re-establish contact with people by saying that it's common knowledge that you're supposed to maintain contact with everyone you meet. You never know who will come handy in your hour of need. While I would grumpily protest that when one is so busy with work, friends and family, it is difficult keeping in contact with acquaintances, my wise sisters would ask me to just suck it up and deal with it because everyone else managed to do that.

However, if I have learned anything in my twenty two years on this earth, it is that one cannot change one's basic personality. In fact, as we get older, it becomes more unlikely that our personalities will ever change. Being a true Gemini, (extremely friendly one instant, extremely shy the other) I have come to realise that I am just not going to be a social butterfly. I cannot flit about a crowded room, showering fake compliments on everyone present. Actually, if I were to be completley honest, I suppose I could be a social butterfly but not at all times. As I result, I end up striking people as weird. I know no one else is to blame for this as I would also think a person who greets me warmly one day and completely ignores me the next, is strange. In my defence, I really can't control it. If I am in the mood to be a recluse, nothing and no one will be able to bring me out of my hibernation. I blame it on the stars under which I was born.

All said and done, after being in India for nearly two years now, I now have an impressive list of contacts (I owe a lot of this to my prior job in PR)on my two BBs (Blackberry and black book) The only glitch?! I hesistate in contacting about 70% of this list and haven't contacted about 60% of my list for a second time!

I now wonder if I was better off before I knew all these people; at least back then my excuse for being unsociable was not knowing enough people. Now, the reasons I am unsociable are because I am highly lazy and an introvert 50% of the time.